Television is truly dead. Capitalism killed it.

It saddens me to tell you that television died on the first of March.

STORY: ABC developing "Caveman" based around Geiko adds

Yes, folks, you read that right. You know those adds that say Geiko is "so easy a caveman can do it"? Yeah, they're making a TV show about them. While I do enjoy those adds (but wish they'd do more with the Gecko or more fake TV shows), there are some things you just don't do to TV. This is one of them.

Now I am going to quote Peter Griffin (as he appeared in South Park), who once said "You think THAT'S bad..." because, dear friends, it gets worse.

You remember that Burger King fellow? The guy who managed to be simultaneously kick-awesome cool and undeniably creepy? The one with the wide plastic grin who always seemed eerily out of place whenever he was doing his shenanigans (which included standing outside a guy's window at 9 something in the morning to hand him his Burger King breakfast? Oh no, don't worry, they're not going to have him be a special guest star on "Caveman". That would be too out-there and bizarre. What are they doing with the Burger King?

He gets his own movie.

Apparently it's supposed to be some sort of "Origin story". It falls to me to be Zarathustra, it would seem. "Television is dead! And advertising killed it!

This saddens me.

-Haru

Tournament time!

I am off to Bedford for a debate tournament that's being held locally. It's been a while since I've seen almost all the people there, and I'm rrl rrl excited about it. I'm not debating this year, but I'm coming back next year for my last hurrah. Man do I miss it... If any fotoes come of my excursion, I will post them.

Keep it awesome,

-Haru

ANNOUNCEMENT: Most Metaling Metal Series

I have decided to start a series entitled The Most Metaling Metal, which will rank, in my humble opinion, the best and the most important metal songs, albums and artists. I'm doing this because many of these lists have been done before, but they haven't ever been my list. Also, the idea of picking up new readers is cool (like that'll happen, right?).

Keep it awesome,

-Haru (now with %100 real beef)

Singles' Awareness Day

I understand that many of you out there are singles on this most tragic of days for our kind. To you, I say Take heart, your day will come. Happy Singles' Awareness Day. Hug a Single Near You. We Need Love Too, You Guys!

Keep it awesome,

-Haru the very single

NEWS: Clippy is dead!

STORY: Clippy, the Office mascot, is officially dead.

It saddens me to report to you, my friends, that Clippy, that little annoying paperclip in Microsoft Office, is now officially dead. I have no more words. Requias In Pacem, Clippy.

NEWS: Metallica is 1, 5 and 9 on IGN's most influential metal albums

STORY IGN announced their pics for the most influential metal albums of all time. The list is as follows:

1. Metallica - Master of Puppets
2. Black Sabbath - Paranoid
3. Iron Maiden - The Number of the Beast
4. Megadeth- Rust In Peace
5. Metallica - Ride The Lightning
6. Ozzy Osbourne - Blizzard of Ozz
7. Slayer - Reign In Blood
8. Dio - Holy Diver
9. Metallica - ...And Justice For All
10. Motorhead - Ace of Spades

The editors explained their choice (of Master of Puppets as number 1) by saying that the band's third effort "built upon and perfected everything they had experimented with prior. It's the album where all the pieces come together in glorious cohesion and it's the album that finally woke the general public up to the power and the glory that Metallica was born to spread."

I am most pleased with this list. The one thing I would have changed is to switch out numbers 1 and 5. While it is true that all of the awesome of Metallica came through strongest in Master of Puppets, their best album was by far Ride the Lightning. If Puppets was the album in which Metallica's power and glory came together, surely the album to be praised is the one where the glory first manifests itself. Arguably, this album was Lightning. Kill 'em All was their thrash album, and is one of the best first albums ever had by a band. With Ride the Lightning, we were shown clearly the true power of Metallica. Puppets, in my eyes, never lived up to Lightning. Because Lightning was the album they built upon, the album that influenced Puppets, Lightning should have taken the top spot.

Apart from that, I agree wholeheartedly with Paranoid as number 2. Yes, yes, yes. Most assuredly. Paranoid set the stage for the glorious metal we all know and love. Sadly, however, I am ignorant of all the other (non-Metallica) albums (except for Ace of Spades), a fact which I will quickly remedy. However, Motorhead only made it up there because of the song Ace of Spades. They were indeed a one-hit wonder.

Keep it awesome,

-Haru

In Delaware

Right, so I'm in Delaware for my grandmother's birthday. I'm having a great time; I absolutely love it here. We flew up here, stopping in New Orleans (sp) and Tampa. I gotta say, I was unimpressed with New Orleans (rimshot) and most impressed with Tampa. When we first flew over Tampa, I looked down and saw a hotel right on the beach that had a pool. I was like "Okay, why even bother with a pool? I mean, you have an ocean right next to you!" But in all seriousness, Tampa was beautiful. It most certainly warrents further study at a later time.

A real quick note here, please excuse any misspellings I may commit. I am using my grandparents' computer which does not have Firefox, so I am without the spellcheck. I love Firefox...

I also realized that Jerry Sienfeld isn't too funny.

We got a radio today! It's a dual-band handheld that I am itching to use, but can't because the FCC's painfully slow with updating the callsigns. Friggin' FCC.

I've finished Homer's Odyssey for one of my classes and am engaged in reading Aristotle's Poetics. It's quite good. The modern reader will see many of the conclusions he reaches as obvious, but perhaps they are obvious because we are so familiar with them (thanks to him).

Man, earlier today I had a very philosophical thought that I was going to put on here. I really hate when that sort of thing happens.

Recently, I got to watch the Leeroy Jenkins! video and see the South Park episode Make Love, Not Warcraft. I gotta say, there's something kinda "eeeeeee" about people who play WoW. I will be the first to admit that I wanted to play Everquest so badly, and that there are some MMOs that I would indeed play (I don't care what anybody else thinks about .Hack, I WILL PAY MONEY TO PLAY THE WORLD!!! LISTEN TO ME BANDAI!!! I WILL PAY!!!), but that WoW is just stupid. Even before I saw what it was doing to my cousin, I thought it was dumb (planning to opt out for Guild Wars, which is still my intention). It was only then that my suspicions were confirmed and my fears heightened. It just looks stupid, as opposed to the myriad of other MMOs out there (which some will argue are basically all the same game. To those people, I say "*shrug* Well, why waste your time on WoW?)

'Mkay, I'm done.

Keep it awesome,

-Haru