Television is truly dead. Capitalism killed it.

It saddens me to tell you that television died on the first of March.

STORY: ABC developing "Caveman" based around Geiko adds

Yes, folks, you read that right. You know those adds that say Geiko is "so easy a caveman can do it"? Yeah, they're making a TV show about them. While I do enjoy those adds (but wish they'd do more with the Gecko or more fake TV shows), there are some things you just don't do to TV. This is one of them.

Now I am going to quote Peter Griffin (as he appeared in South Park), who once said "You think THAT'S bad..." because, dear friends, it gets worse.

You remember that Burger King fellow? The guy who managed to be simultaneously kick-awesome cool and undeniably creepy? The one with the wide plastic grin who always seemed eerily out of place whenever he was doing his shenanigans (which included standing outside a guy's window at 9 something in the morning to hand him his Burger King breakfast? Oh no, don't worry, they're not going to have him be a special guest star on "Caveman". That would be too out-there and bizarre. What are they doing with the Burger King?

He gets his own movie.

Apparently it's supposed to be some sort of "Origin story". It falls to me to be Zarathustra, it would seem. "Television is dead! And advertising killed it!

This saddens me.

-Haru